Asking the tough church questions

Written by Bryan Nelson | posted in church, God, leadership | 4 Comments

Sometimes being a pastor is the last thing I want people to know about me. It’s because all authenticity is lost in that moment.  You know — the language cleans up, actions are done differently, or behavior is modified.  Really, I long for what everyone wants in a relationship — real authenticity.  Don’t you?

I was at a conference not too long ago, and two friends of mine and I struck up a conversation with a waitress. We started talking about church.  After the conversation, she left the table — only to come back 10 minutes later with a hard hitting question.  She asked, “So if you are a pastor at a church, I’ve always wanted to ask why church have all these rules and things you are supposed to do?”  I asked her what rules she was talking about — and she politely shared.

So, what would you tell her?

I told her sometimes religion gets in the way of a relationship with God.

Have you ever been in a situation you weren’t sure if you were using the right words — or if it was the right time for them to hear them? This is one of those times.  We left her with a Bible passage to look up and begin a journey.  A journey that God wants her to take — to ultimately fall in love with Himself.

“Some people have left the church to ask the hard questions – because church appears to be a place where we’re supposed to have all the answers, trust leadership, and get along.” This is what I heard Reggie Joiner share at a recent conference I attended.  Do people feel like they aren’t supposed to have a healthy dialog?  If this is true – then we need to change this.  And if we need to change this, I’ve got to be honest and state that I’m not sure how.

I wonder if there are others who attend church who are afraid to ask the “common sense” or “no-no” questions — and not feel threatened or embarrassed? This experience caused me to think consciously about giving people permission to ask questions that sometimes threatens us or seem common sense (but really are not).

How about you?  Have you ever been at a place of not wanting to ask the “dumb question” or “the question you shouldn’t ask?”