Spending time in someone’s world
My son loves to play a certain video game. When he showed me how to play it — he showed me how certain key strokes on the computer do different things. One thing he taught me was pressing the keys Escape, the letter “L” and the Enter key. The “Esc – L – Enter” keystroke logs you out of the game when you are done playing. Another term he taught me was “AFK” — which stands for “Away from keyboard.” I asked him what one would use AFK. And he said it was when you have to step away from the computer (you know, like to get a snack) and you want to stay in the game. You simply chat to your friends online the letters “AFK” and your friends know you must be getting a snack.
So imagine my son’s surprise when it was time for dinner and he kept playing his game. We had called him twice to the table. I finally said, “Hey, either AFK or Esc-L-Enter for dinner.” He immediately looked up at me. I was speaking his language.
You won’t know how to connect with someone unless you spent some time in their (video game) world. If you connect — and then can speak the same language — then influence takes place. Spend time in someone’s world. Spend time learning their language.